Episode 164:  The Test

Something has happened to Dynasty.  The drastic shift in emphasis continues.  Yes, there has always been family and medical drama but this is going to a new extreme.  Maybe it is because everyone is rallying around poor little Krystina, but still.  In the past, you could always count on Alexis arriving at the hospital to insult fat nurses or to cause a scene.  

 Krystle can't believe the change in story line!

Krystle can't believe the change in story line!

Anyway, medical personnel are able to revive Krystina.  Poor little Krystina has congenital heart failure but they want to take a biopsy of her heart to find out the root cause of her heart issues.  Of course, we get a bunch of scenes of the family all together (where Sammy Jo asks what can she do, I didn't realize she was a heart specialist), some medical procedures on Krystina (producers wasted money on that), and Blake being stoic with Krystle trying to be stoic.  Yawn!

 Krystina is always laying down!

Krystina is always laying down!

More yawns take place over at Steven's apartment.  Sammy Jo returns with him and she spends the night again.  This time, Steven will take the couch so he can read the Bible.  What?!?  Steven actually has a Bible above his fireplace.  Obviously, Steven skips over Deuteronomy and randomly turns to some section before asking God to help save Krystina.  For a second there, I was afraid that Steven was going to ask for help with his own issues.

 Jack Coleman continues to look cute

Jack Coleman continues to look cute

The following morning, Sammy Jo finally states the obvious - Steven and Danny should move out to Delta Rho so the three can live as a family.  Steven is reluctant and tells Sammy Jo that it will not change who he is.  Sammy Jo is not so certain.  Whatever happens will happen.  Sammy Jo is way too pretty to be chasing after a guy who will never find her sexually attractive.  I love during these scenes, Steven hints at but never states that he still desires the touch of a man, just like Sammy Jo.

 Modern family?

Modern family?

At Delta Rho, Steven breaks to Danny the good news about moving in.  Wouldn't you know it, Clay shows up for his things and accuses Steven of using Danny to get to Sammy Jo which ruined their marriage.  Clay really has a lot of nerve since this was his own doing, and Steven calls him out on that.  Wait, Clay you are blaming a gay man for ruining your marriage.  Now, I have heard it all.  Clay reminds Sammy Jo that Steven cannot give her what he can (basically a hard penis).  Sammy Jo does not want to hear any of it and promises to send Clay his things.

 Losing out to a gay man is rough

Losing out to a gay man is rough

Quick aside - there is some thawing in the Ben-Leslie relationship.  Also, Blake wants Ben to sit in some meetings for him while he stays at the hospital.  Ben is grateful for Blake's trust in him.  See what happens when you save a man's life.

While Blake attends to Krystina and Krystle, he puts Steven in charge of Denver Carrington which, of course, does not sit well with Adam.  What is Adam going to do since he works at Colby Co.  Still, Adam assures his father he will help him any way he can.  Blake is appreciative.  He is also glad that Dana will be joining the family.  Now Dana has some smarts about her.  She does not want the big wedding at the mansion and prefers to elope.  Why?  She believes this big wedding is all a ruse by Alexis to stall for time in order to come up with a plan to break the two of them up.  Dana has come this far in her stalking and landing of Adam to have it all ruined by Alexis.  Adam swears Dana is being ridiculous and that Alexis is a changed woman.

 Ben and Leslie want to remind you they are still part of this show

Ben and Leslie want to remind you they are still part of this show

Is Alexis a changed woman?  It sure seems like it.  She is not eager to jump into a business and sexual relationship with Michael.  Again, that is the smart thing to do since Michael was just boning her daughter before she ran off to England.  Alexis, however, is willing to be Michael's business partner because the deal seems very profitable.  (Can't Michael just go somewhere and think.)  The two go to dinner to celebrate (Alexis has no other dinner partner) and they run into Dominique and Dex.  After one snide remark, Alexis is informed about Krystina.

 Double date anyone

Double date anyone

For some reason, Alexis feels that it is appropriate to go to the hospital to check on Blake.  Now, that seems like the old Alexis.  Blake is appreciative for Alexis's concern, but Krystle is not.  And, can you blame her?  Krystle rightly calls out Alexis for killing her first child so she wants Alexis no where near Krystina.  Alexis actually does not cause a scene and still shows concern for Krystle and Krystina.  Wait, that is a change.

 Cozy??

Cozy??

Feeling unwanted in Denver, Alexis decides to fly off to California to see Fallon who is in the hospital with her new baby.  Joan Collins will never go on The Colbys so any California scenes will occur on this program.  Since the producers wasted so much money on medical equipment for Krystina, they are only willing to pay John James to appear (suck it Emma Samms).  Alexis needs someone to talk to and Jeff seems like the perfect person because you know Jeff gave Alexis a gardenia when Blake banished her from Denver (they only mention that story like a thousand times).  

 I hope Alexis does not plan on wearing that to California

I hope Alexis does not plan on wearing that to California

Who follows Alexis out to California?  Michael.  He is like a dog in heat, or a stalker.  Alexis knows he is bad news and tells him that he does not need a friend because she has family in California.  Alexis tells Jeff that she is feeling lonely and needs a man.  What?!?  How many times has Alexis sworn to us that she does not need the companionship of a man.  This is all very very strange.

 Tell me about that gardenia again

Tell me about that gardenia again

Back in Denver, the doctors perform the biopsy on Krystina's heart.  It is pretty interesting to see how advanced and how dated the medical procedure really is.  Krystina does fine during the procedure, but the prognosis is not good.  Her heart has been attacked by a virus which has weakening the heart muscle.  It is too late to fix the problem because the damage to the muscle has been too great.  Krystina is going to need a new heart.  Remember that girl in the 80s who had a baboon heart for a while, maybe Krystina can get one of those.

 Krystina just continues to lay there!

Krystina just continues to lay there!

 

Memorable Dialogue

Alexis:  Well, well, well.  This may not be as private, but this certainly beats the trailer.  Doesn't it, Dominique?

Alexis:  Krystle, I know what you're going through, but, believe me, I have nothing against your little girl.
Krystle:  Then, what's changed.  You obviously had something against my first child.  Now, I've lost one child because of you.  I don't want you near Krystina.

 

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