Episode 16:  Alexis' Secret

Claudia is well enough to leave the hospital.  Blake has it arranged for her to return to her middle class existence.  Problem is, we really don't want to see middle class life anymore but we want to keep Claudia.  How to solve this?  Andrew tries to convince Claudia not to find Lindsey because she is never going to be a character on this show again.  As for the house, the perfect way to get Claudia out of it, is for her to attempt suicide.  While sedated, she contacts Blake.  Instead of calling 9-1-1, Blake rushes over to Claudia's house and has Dr. Nick Toscani, a psychologist driving a DeLorean, meet him there. 

 Gotta love the car!

Gotta love the car!

Dr. Nick brings Claudia to and makes Claudia normal, well what is considered normal for Claudia.  Blake moves Claudia into the house and wants Dr. Nick to be a personal doctor to Claudia.  Dr. Nick tells Blake that he will be nobody's bitch and leaves.  On his way out, he runs into Krystle which makes him change his mind.  He has no problem being Blake's bitch now.  Oh, but there is a method to Dr. Nick's madness.  He finally got in good with Blake, which is part of Dr. Nick's plan all along.  He is going to get Blake, for something Blake did but don't know yet. 

 Claudia's drunk dialing again

Claudia's drunk dialing again

Alexis decides that her studio gives her the right to use the staff as her own.  She requests Mrs. Gunnerson to purchase a few items for her.  Joseph, of course, does not approve - but neither does Krystle.  Krystle has a little chat with Alexis and tells her that she will protect Blake and that she is not the mistress of the house.  That is Krystle's job.   Alexis will take that under advisement.

 Probably the last show that made smoking glamorous

Probably the last show that made smoking glamorous

Blake has a better idea, why not just pay Alexis off.  Andrew cannot believe that Blake would pay Alexis $500,000 for that stupid little studio.  Alexis won't take the money - she is there to protect Steven.  Andrew drops a bomb on Alexis, oh and violates attorney-client confidentiality, by telling her that Blake has cut Steven out of his will because Steven wants nothing more to do with Blake.  Alexis will not have any of this and has a dinner catered for Steven as a way to butter him to ask him to make amends with Blake.  Steven has his birthright to think about, but Steven does not want it.  Let Fallon have it!  Alexis tells Steven that he may be the only one of Blake's children.  Steven does not want to hear it, but Alexis tells Steven that Fallon is not Blake's daughter. 

 Oh, he wants you Krystle

Oh, he wants you Krystle

I am sure that is the last thing Fallon would want to hear.  Fallon is having a rough time.  She hates Krystle, her mother has returned.  Everyone is after Blake.  Fallon's only coping mechanism is to try to find Michael.  Krystle suggests that may not be a good idea, and then she tells Fallon she is pregnant.  Fallon is not happy with that prospect and decides the only remedy is to get pregnant herself.  What better way to get pregnant than to invite Jeff to a tacky motel?  I am sure Jeff will be happy to learn why Fallon is so eager to get pregnant. 

Finally, we do see Blake go to the probation officer and there are some 80s bad-asses there in the lobby.  Hilarious! 

 We need more scenes from the probation office!

We need more scenes from the probation office!

Memorable Dialogue 

Alexis:  Well, other than that, it feels just like home.
Krystle:  It isn't - not yours. 

Alexis:  Believe me Krystle, there is nothing I want from you.
Krystle:  Oh you want something. 

Alexis:  Fallon, when you were a little girl, you thought you knew everything about everything.  I can see you still haven't changed - you don't. 

Blake:  And I'm not to consort with any known criminal types
Andrew:  Well, that alone will cut on half your business and social lives.
Blake:  Not funny, Andrew, not funny at all .

Andrew:  Shall we go inside and have a drink together while we talk.
Alexis:  Sorry, no vodka.  Not even any hemlock. 

Fallon:  Eavesdropping Krystle?  You could be more discreet - I mean that is what phone extensions are for. 

Steven:  Look, I've always had this love-hate thing going with him and hate won out.  I didn't want it to happen that way, but it happened. 

 

Previous Episode - The Verdict
Next Episode - Fallon's Father