Episode 29:  The Baby

Drag queens (a.k.a. Joan Collins's body doubles) get plenty of work in this episode.  Alexis manages to flag down a car and gets Fallon the medical attention she needs.  Fallon is okay but an emergency c-section is needed.  The baby is delivered premature but appears to be fine.  (No baby is ever fine in soap operas.)   

 Joan Collins??? running up a hill

Joan Collins??? running up a hill

Alexis gets a hold of Blake who rushes to the hospital with Krystle.  Alexis claims the accident occurred because Fallon had to much champagne at the party.  Krystle claims that Fallon did not drink.  Blake does not really care who is correct - just that Fallon and the baby are okay.  Why aren't they concerned that Fallon may have been drinking while pregnant?  The times, they have changed.  At least the interaction in the hospital gave Alexis the chance to make another dig at Krystle for her inability to give Blake a child.

 Alexis drinking from a can?  Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Alexis drinking from a can?  Desperate times call for desperate measures.

You know who should be at the hospital - the baby daddy.  Jeff cannot be found because he has returned to Claudia's apartment.  Claudia may have gaudy furniture and noisy neighbors, but she is able to seduce Jeff.  How easy was that.  Like a man, Jeff falls asleep following sex (but seems to toss and turn a lot).  This gives Claudia the opportunity to steal his key, somehow find a locksmith that works in the middle of the night to duplicate the key, and return to her apartment.  Jeff wakes just as she is about to put the keys back in his pocket.  In order to get out of this sticky situation, Claudia goes another round with Jeff. 

 She doesn't seem disgusted.

She doesn't seem disgusted.

Unfortunately for Claudia, the information that she was looking for was not in that locked cabinet.  Still this does not stop her from going to Cecil and claim that she has upheld her end of the bargain.  Claudia wants to know where Lindsey is.  Why?  Let Lindsey hang out in South America.  Cecil reminds Claudia how bargains work.  She was to provide the shale oil extraction information not to sleep with Jeff to get access to the file.  Claudia feels dirty but Cecil tells her that is how you make it in the world. 

When Fallon awakes following surgery, she immediately recalls what happened and why.  She is inconsolable and does not want to see anyone.  Fallon tells Alexis that Sammy Jo was the one who told her about the paternity issue.  Alexis is pissed and will finally rid the family of Sammy Jo.  Alexis offers Sammy Jo $20,000 to leave the family and sign an affidavit claiming that she never consummated the marriage.  Sammy Jo is more clever than she puts on.  Sammy Jo will take the money to better herself or find somebody wealthier.  But, she will not sign such an affidavit, and if Alexis does not like it, she will tell Steven that his mother offered her $20,000 to say that Steven is a fag.  Alexis gives Sammy Jo the money and Sammy Jo is off. 

 Sammy Jo got the better of Alexis, but at least she is gone.  For now.

Sammy Jo got the better of Alexis, but at least she is gone.  For now.

Before we get to the fun stuff - there was a scene where Blake is questioning who was buying up Denver Carrington stock.  He believes it to be Logan Rhinewood. 

Jeff finally makes it to see Fallon but Fallon is too upset to even see the baby.  Over reacting as always, Jeff calls Fallon a monster and inhuman.  Wow!  Jeff really is moody. 

 You were better off in the womb. 

You were better off in the womb. 

Krystle catches Sammy Jo as she is leaving and Sammy Jo notes that Alexis pretty much forced her to leave.  Already angry at Alexis, Krystle discovers that Alexis was shooting the day she fell from the horse.  Krystle finally puts it all together and goes to confront Alexis.  Alexis will have none of this and slaps Krystle.  Not a good idea as Krystle pretty much kicks Alexis's ass in their first, of many, cat fights.  And, the most important part of this cat fight is that they did it in their heels.  It may have been easier to just shoot Alexis. 

 Armed for battle!

Armed for battle!

Despite a bad day for Alexis, it does end with some good news.  Krystle's divorce to Samuel Mark Jennings (now Mark Jennings) was not finalized in Mexico.  Krystle was never divorced and probably does not even know it.  Well Alexis wants to get a hold of this Mark Jennings as soon as possible. 

 It needed to be redecorated anyway

It needed to be redecorated anyway

Memorable Dialogue 

Alexis:  Under the circumstances, you must be terribly upset.
Krystle:  Circumstances?
Alexis:  Hmm. . .Fallon giving Blake what you are unable to give him.  You must feel very left out.  Absolutely shattered. 

Fallon:  I used to be Fallon Carrington.  Now, I'm nothing. 

Alexis (to Sammy Jo):  And that's exactly the point of this little tete-a-tete.  In plain words of one syllable that you can understand - I want you out of the family.  I want you not married to Steven.  I'm offering you $20,000 if you sign this piece of paper and leave immediately. 

Alexis:  Look, I'm not a charitable institution.  I'm paying you good money so that you'll do what I want and that is to go away and stay away.
Sammy Jo:  Sorry, but that's because if innocent, I'll take this paper straight to Steven and show him how his dear, sweet mommy wanted his wife to sign something to make him out a fag.

Jeff:  My God, a woman who doesn't even want to see her own baby.  I mean what kind of monster are you.
Fallon:  I'm me.
Jeff:  That's right, you're you.  You're inhuman. 

 Look at those drag queens fight

Look at those drag queens fight

Alexis:  Well now, you look as if you are armed for battle.
Krystle:  I am.
Alexis:  What?  Is it your little niece.  Is that it?  Are you going to shoot my heart out because I sent her back to the boondocks where she belongs. 

Alexis:  Oh no, you're jealous because Fallon has had her baby and that has made you even more paranoid.  Well, I didn't cause your accident, Krystle.  Just as I did not cause you barrenness.   

 Krystle:  If you want a rematch, just whistle, if you can.

 Do I see chest hair???

Do I see chest hair???

Claudia:  You made a prostitute out of me.
Cecil:  I taught you how to use sex for gain and it apparently upsets you. 
Claudia:  It disgusts me.
Cecil:  How naive you are for a bright young woman Claudia.  Don't you know if you want something badly enough in this world, you have to pay for it.

 Guess who lost? 

Guess who lost?