the colbys episode 28 - “the Matchmaker”

Sometimes you just got to dive in and create the storylines that will drive the season, even if it seems really odd and doesn’t make sense. Then again, do we really care if it makes sense? Frankie is still pissed that Jason decided to have Sable stay at the Colby Mansion. How else is Frankie going to be able to steal her sister’s husband if Sable is still allowed to live there? What’s the problem, Frankie? Isn’t the pool house good enough for you. Anyway, Jason convinces Frankie to take a ride with him and he brings her to the site of their new home. Call me underwhelmed because it does not look like it will be that big of a place. Might as well just stay in the pool house. Frankie comes to her sense and tells Jason that he does not have to build her a new home. They can all live in the mansion together. So what was the problem before, Frankie.

Now that they are all going to live together, Jason wants to proceed with the divorce and marry Frankie as soon as possible. He is kind enough to hand Sable the divorce papers personally, but then digs her by saying that Frankie will be the mistress of the house. Sable will be nothing more than just a guest. Sable assures Jason that no one will even know she is there. Yeah, good luck with that. Clearly annoyed, Sable dumps a ton of information on Frankie that she will need to know to be the new mistress. Sable does not envy Frankie. Besides, Sable will have more free time for her new dance company (more on that later). Frankie swears she knows how to run a home, and to score a point against Sable, Frankie notes that Jason just set up a $10 million trust for Jeff and Fallon’s soon to be born child. At least Jason was smart enough to give the child money and not stock. Blake learned his lesson about giving stock to his grandchildren.

Frankie - why did you have to go and poke Sable like that? Now, Sable is determined to make sure Miles provides Jason an heir. Ahhh, if only there was a prospect. Wait a minute - earlier that day, Sable caught Miles coming out of Channing’s guest room and she wasn’t particularly thrilled about it. Miles should not be playing with the guests. But now things have changed. Sable gives Channing a tour of the Colby Collection and she is sold that Channing could be the perfect match for Miles. What the hell! How long has she been a guest? Does anyone really know anything about her? Does anyone seem to care? For the record - Monica does.

The one thing that we do learn about her is that she seems to be owned by her Uncle Lucas - who inherited Channing and her parents’ debts when they died. Do things work that way? I am pretty sure they don’t. But, it does give a good reason for why Channing may want to be out of her uncle’s clutches. We are still learning about the dynamic, but we do know that Lucas is one creepy fellow. Those nostrils alone are amazing.

Back to Sable, she needs to get Miles on board with marrying Channing. At lunch, Sable tells Miles that if he does intend to marry Channing, he should do it properly - have it at the home and have Jason involved. Miles isn’t just yet ready to marry Channing (smart, Miles!). Sable then tells Miles that Jason had set up a trust for Jeff and Fallon’s baby. Miles wisely notes that it does not concern him and that he does not need his mother to get involved. Jeff and Miles are not in a competition even if Sable believes them to be. Good, Miles is making sense. How long will this last?

It won’t last until the next scene. Of course, tensions rise between Miles and Jeff at work, and it is not helped by Jason who decides to favor Jeff over Miles (again). Miles is annoyed. He will always be the second son. You know the easiest way around this predicament - have Monica be the heir apparent of Colby Enterprises. Jason wisely invited her back to Colby Enterprises as Vice-President and General Counsel. Let’s face it, she may be the smartest choice.

But we can’t have that - we need more Jeff and Miles tension. Miles has decided to marry Channing and visits Fallon in her bedroom for her opinion on the engagement ring he has picked out. Of course Miles is visiting Fallon in her bedroom because Fallon never seems to leave it. Miles tells Fallon that he will not marry Channing if she says the word. Fallon is not going to do that. Jeff walks in during the conversation and believes that Miles is going to rape Fallon again because he has his hands on her. Jeff really is not doing a good job of controlling his emotions as Fallon has asked. Miles and Jeff fight again while Fallon watches and scream again. After the two stop fighting, Jeff almost lets out that Miles may be the father of Fallon’s baby. In reality, Miles should have guessed what Jeff was saying. Fallon is pissed at Jeff for almost telling Miles and says that if Miles ever finds out, she would have no choice but to move back to Denver. Honestly, not a bad idea Fallon.

Before we get to the end of the episode. I guess we should cover Bliss. Bliss will be running press relations for the new Colby dance company. Apparently, any one can do press relations because it seems like the garbage job given to someone who needs work (Krystle - cough cough). Before seeing the new dancers, Bliss does tell Frankie that she has no intention of being her friend (I am sure she will come around). Bliss is enthralled by watching the two ballet dancers - a brother and a sister from the Soviet Union. Remember the Soviet Union? Okay, Bliss is more enthralled by the male ballet dancer - Nikolai Rostov. Nikolai seems smitten too, but is quickly put into line by his sister. Nikolai instantly becomes formal with Bliss which just pisses her off. Geez Bliss, don’t you get what is going on? They are from the Soviet Union which means they are constantly being watched - why would they be?

Okay, that was a little too long on Bliss. One more thing before getting to Miles. Zach tries to make amends with Sable. Sable still seems pissed but she does show up for dinner with Zach at Dominique’s hotel that he just bought. Zach informs Sable that she will soon become a very powerful woman and Zach can teach her to use that power to harm Jason. That definitely piqued Sable’s interest - and it seems eerily familiar. Didn’t Cecil recruit Alexis to harm Blame? It may have worked out better for Cecil if he didn’t have that heart attack.

Miles takes Channing to a merry go round - not the same one that Fallon had her headaches on - and he proposes to her. Channing accepts. What the hell, has it only been two weeks? Miles does not take his mother’s advice and decides they need to go to Las Vegas to elope. Again - what the hell? Lucas catches Channing as she is packing and tries to forbid her from eloping. Her job was to find information about Jason and the Red Chinese (so we got the Chinese and the Soviets), not to bed his son. Maybe to get away from Lucas - Channing will have none of it. She is going to marry Miles and become Mrs. Miles Colby. Lucas needs to stop this.

What better way to stop it than to inform his friend Sable that Miles and Channing are going to elope. Sable is annoyed because Miles is doing exactly what she told Miles not to do. Sable becomes more annoyed when Lucas tells Sable that Channing is a gold digger and is only marrying Miles for his money. Well, Sable definitely will stop this elopement. She tries to recruit Jason but Jason does not seem to care - Miles will do what he wants and it is best for Sable not to interfere. Strange, I don’t remember Jason being so cool when Bliss wanted to marry Sean last season. Jason or not, Sable is going to stop this and requests the small jet (how cost conscience of her) to fly to Las Vegas.

Memorable Dialogue

Frankie: I’m sorry, Jason, but did you expect me to like Sable living with us.
Jason: Frankie
Frankie: What’s it going to be - cozy little dinners for three, drinks in the library afterward - all for one and one for all.

Miles: Oh, you’re up early this morning.
Sable: So are you or have you been up all night.

Lucas: When your parents died, they left everything to me - a pile of debts and you.
Channing: I wish I could feel grateful
Lucas: I don’t care how you feel. But, what you do - that’s up to me. I am in charge of your life my girl and don’t you every forget it.
Channing: You’ll never let me, will you?

Sable [to Frankie]: It seems like only yesterday it was I who dismissed the servants. In fact, it was only yesterday.

Frankie: I do know how to run a house.
Sable: Who said it - that a house is not a home?

Sable: I’ll never forgive you for what you did to me.
Zach: What I did Sabella is make love to you. What you did was respond - magnificently.

Zach: You’ve got to know how to use that power - I can teach you.
Sable: Teach me? I’ve seemed to manage rather well. Thank you.
Zach: You’ve only just begun with a man like Jason. You got to know where to strike and when. You can’t hurt him in the bedroom anymore but you can hurt him in the Boardroom. I can show you how.
Sable: Sometimes you take my breath away. When do we start?

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