the colbys episode 39 - “the home-wrecker’

There are so many home wreckers on this show, I can only imagine to whom this episode is referring. The home wrecker of all home wreckers, Frankie, is kissing Jason when Hoyt shoots at them. Either the sight is off on the rifle, Hoyt is a bad shot or Hoyt intentionally missed - but Jason and Frankie are okay. Jason is able to get to his gun (of course) and scare Hoyt off. Frankie is shaken and Jason wants to know who tried to kill him. As Zach later notes, there are many possible candidates. I guess the trip to the Colby Ranch has been cut short.

Speaking of Hoyt, he really has it out for Jason for some reason. He is a man, an American man, who is wanted by INTERPOL for drug and guns smuggling whose last known whereabout was Singapore (that explains the background for the opening credit of Michael Parks). It is great to see that Hoyt has a diversified portfolio of business.

Jason wants to keep the shooting quiet - the shooter could possible be one of those crackpots who are sending Jason hate email. It would be easier to keep quiet about the shooting if Sam was not lurking around everywhere. Monica lets it slip that Jason was shot at. Sam tries to get more information from Channing and even gives Channing her Trust to butter her up. Channing, however, will have none of it. She is not going to spy on the Colbys anymore for her Uncle Lucas. Later, Channing hints to Jason that maybe her uncle was behind the shooting.

Fallon feels useless because she pretty much is. Even though the doctor wants Fallon to rest she does not want to be trapped in the house all the time. Pregnancy is a condition, not a disability. Fallon had had a successful career (which she started because she felt useless) and now wants to open an Interior Design Firm (like all bored wealthy housewives). Jeff cannot believe Fallon went ahead with her plan without telling him Are you new, Jeff? Also, doesn’t she need Miles’s permission? Something about his rights - blah blah blah.

Another home wrecker has to be Georgina. Kolya convinces Bliss that nothing happened between him and Gerogina (they call her Gina). Bliss forgives him. Kolya feels uncomfortable living in the Mansion with all the servants and the family. It’s worse than having the KGB spy on you. He wants an apartment of his own, and I don’t blame him for that. Bliss is not excited with the idea - would she really leave the Mansion? She already tried the house boat thing and it wasn’t fun. Kolya wastes no time getting a new apartment and even manages to furnish it. He invites Bliss over for dinner and tells her the address while Gina is listening. We all see where this is going. While Kolya is getting ready, Gina drops by. Kolya rushes her out - he still needs to shower. Gina leaves just long enough to sneak back in when Kolya jumps in the shower. So very predictable. Bliss arrives early and Kolya answers the door in his towel. Gina pops out of the bedroom in some lingerie and the set up is complete. Bliss storms off. [Gee, this seems very similar to what Alexis did to Fallon and Mark - go figure.] How do women fall for this? Also, does this actually help women land a man? I mean, it really cannot work. You caused me to break up with my girlfriend so I guess I will be with you now. Hmmmm . . .

Miles is really letting this Board seat goes to his head. Pretty much every other Colby other than Bliss has a seat. It is so annoying every time Miles invokes Connie’s name. At least this may help Miles settle down- he is even willing to go to a charity ball with Channing. Could Miles be a changed man? Does anyone care?

Even though the Board voted down Jason’s proposal to acquire Synchrodine, Jason is moving forward with the acquisition. He is not going to allow Zach to profit from his labor. Seriously, Zach only has a minority interest in Onishi Electronics - just stick with them. Regardless, I don’t think Jason is allowed to go through with the acquisition in defiance of the Board. Well, it does not matter because Zach just purchased Synchrodine. Jason is pissed and confronts Sable. Sable swears she did not tell Zach intentionally. Now, Sable is pissed with Zach because he made her harm Jason. Zach does not care. He wants Sable all to herself and proposes to her - switching Jason’s ring with a ring of his own.

There is an interesting scene where Sable passes Jason in the hall. Jason is moving back to the Pool House (I still find it hilarious that he is forced to live in the Pool House) and Sable has just returned from accepting Zach’s marriage proposal. Neither Jason nor Sable could ever imagine Sable wearing another man’s ring. Yes, Jason is not thrilled Sable would marry Zach, but what can he say or do.

It pains me to say it but the final home wrecker is Monica. Sable wants Jason to know the truth but Monica does not want to tell him especially since she believes that Sable only wants to tell Jason to give him a grandchild. That is partially true, but at the same time, it is understandable that Sable would want her grandchild and she knows that Monica wants Scott too. Maybe Sable and Monica do not need to say anything - Jason will eventually learn the truth. How long can they keep it a secret?

Cash finally decides it is time to leave Adrienne. Adrienne is desperate to hold onto Cash (probably out of fear for losing Scott). Scott sees his father leaving and claims he hates them both and hides away into his room. Instead of waiting to talk to Scott, Cash has dinner with Monica where he asks her to marry him. Could we at least wait to file divorce first? Scott finally leaves his room to see his mother passed out drunk. This is the perfect opportunity to escape. When Adrienne comes to she must have noticed that Scott was missing. Naturally, Adrienne rushes to the Colby Mansion to interrupt Jason and Frankie (why weren’t they in the Pool House?) Adrienne tells them that Scott is missing and Jason rightly tells her she should call the police. Adrienne then lets it slip that Monica is Scott’s mother. Great job Monica, you should have told your father when you had the chance.

Memorable Dialogue

Jason: I haven’t been shot at since World War II. I didn’t like it then either.

Jason: Look, if somebody wants to kill me, really wants to kill me, he can do it.

Zach: I don’t want you dead, Jason. Though I can think of a lot of people who do.
Jeff: Oh you’re just cheering them all on, aren’t you?
Zach: Not at all. I need your father alive. How else can I make money from his labor.

Jason: You are making your choices out of revenge. That will come back to haunt you lady. I promise you.
Sable: Your promises don’t mean a thing to me. And you can spare me your quaint lectures on moral standards. I’ve had your brand of integrity - thank you very much - and it left me in an empty bed.
Jason: Don’t lay this at my door. You didn’t learn those cut throat tactics from me.
Sable: But you taught me the best lesson of all - living well is the best revenge and I intend to live very well, Jason. And you had better get used to it.

Cash: It isn’t working Adrienne.
Adrienne: So you want to turn me into one of those desperate women who drank too much, who wear too much makeup, who have too much of everything except love. No, no, not me Cash.
Cash: Adrienne, this marriage is turning you into that. Maybe apart we can find out who we really are instead of suffocating in these roles we play day in and day out. Who knows, we may even like each other.

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